Flada Blog

My Dreams

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? For me, it was a doctor. Actually for a brief time, I wanted to be a worm doctor, whatever that is, but mostly I wanted to be a medical doctor. Then again, to a 5 year old, medical doctors are the only kind of doctor. At one point during high school (during one of the brief moments I stopped to consider it at all) I decided I wanted to be a medical technologist. My rationality was that I could use my natural abilities to fix things and still be in the medical community.

Then I got a girl pregnant and decided the only way to pay for the child was to join the military. The Navy convinced me that I would be a great aviation electronics technician–so that’s what I did. And guess what, I was a great technician. After leaving the service, I went on to be an even greater and more diverse technician. There’s only a little bragging involved when I claim that I can fix the electronics and mechanics on virtually any machine. Yet the idea that I wanted to work more directly with helping people never really left my mind.

So after years of being a technican and then a technical manager, I decided to test to become a cop when I was 33. At 34, I was hired by a small department. I was sworn in and had my uniforms, badges, ID, vest, ASP, .40 S&W, handcuffs, and whistle. I had them for a week before I was informed by my chief that they had found something in my background check that disqualified me. To this day, I’m not really sure what they could have found since I had already had a thorough FBI background check in order to obtain a security clearance in the Navy. Anyway, I went back to being a technician and soon added instructor and teacher to my résumé. Since the first time I was an instructor, I decided that’s what I wanted to be. The sad thing is that I’ve actually hated most of the technician jobs I’ve held, and I think that part of the reason is because subconsciously I’ve always imagined myself as something else.

Today, I’m not a doctor, a medical technologist, a cop, or a technician (at least not working as one). But my dream of being a full-time instructor has finally come true–now I instruct new avionics technicians. I’m also going back to school to become an RN. Time will tell which of those I’ll choose as a career.

Changing your Dreams

It comes back to the questions: What did you want to be when you grew up? How many times have your dreams changed? Have you given up and become stuck in a rut?

Well, you don’t have to be stuck in a rut. You can still pursue your dreams, I’m living proof of that. The only thing standing in your way is that you’ve bought into a few myths that you need to get out of your head.

The Myths of Fulfilling Your Dreams

1. You are too old
2. Nice guys finish last so don’t bother trying to get out of last place
3. You’re destined to fail–the cards are stacked against you

You are too old

According to some acclaimed biologists, there is a correlation between age and success. Raymond Huey, a University of Washington biology professor says, “We used to refer to this advantage of age as the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar effect. As he got older, his physical skills declined but he was so smart and experienced that he was able to compensate and still play professional basketball at the highest levels.”

Maybe you aren’t Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but you do have a lot more knowledge and skills than you used to have. You can put those to use turning your course toward your newly found or re-found dreams.

Rodney Dangerfield was over 40 before he changed his career from one of a no-respect aluminum siding salesman to a celebrated comedian who launched the careers of many other young comedians.

You can stop “selling aluminum siding,” too.

Karola Siegel was a sniper for the Haganah, an Isreali paramilitary defense force, until seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. So, Siegel moved to Germany and later to New York where she earned her Ed. D. It wasn’t until she was 52 that Dr. Karola Ruth (Siegel) Westheimer started her Dr. Ruth radio talk show. Today, “Dr. Ruth” is a household name.

You are not too old.

Nice Guys Finish Last

I used to believe this one, and since I was a nice guy I knew I was destined to finish last. I recall being interested in a girl (or later a woman) who would inevitably end up going out with a jerk. Sure, they liked me as a friend. I was there for them when they needed to talk, cry, or complain about the latest terrible thing the jerk had done to them. It didn’t take long to decide that it was because I was nice that I couldn’t “get the girl.” But nice is part of who I am, so I couldn’t really change that. So, instead I resigned myself to finishing last.

Well, I’m older now and the proud husband of the greatest woman I could ever imagine. She is hands and feet above any of the girls or women I once wished could be mine. Hell, I don’t even remember much about any of them and can’t imagine what I saw in them. But I get to see the wonders of my wife every day to drive home my success. And I’m still a nice guy.

The Cards are Stacked Against You

There are no cards. I can’t prove this to you, though. But it’s important that you believe it because although it’s a myth it’s also a self-fulfilling belief.

That is to say, if you don’t believe you can succeed then you won’t try very hard or you will give up easily, saying, “I was going to fail anyway.” Well, no you weren’t. I served with a guy who I’ll call Kenny (because that was his name) who was the supervisor of the Line Division work center. His methods for motivating his workers was to call them “idiots” and “dumb mother f%&#ers.” One time, I caught up to Kenny in a passageway on the U.S.S. Eisenhower and said to him, “you know, Kenny, if you call your guys idiots and dumb m.f. ers enough times they’ll start working and acting like idiots and dumb m.f. ers.” Kenny, unfortunately, didn’t heed my warnings and ended up making his own job much harder.

If people start to believe the ravings of a bad supervisor like Kenny when he tells them they are failures, how do you think it would affect them if they started to tell themselves they were miserable failures, unworthy of success, all the time?

So start telling yourself you can be successful. Start acting like a success, and the success will follow.