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 How to Start (or Quit) Anything [5:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

What’s important to you? Does that seem like an all-encompassing, impossibly vague question? It isn’t meant to be, and it’s only the most important question you will ever ask yourself. You see, until you have priorities you can’t really classify things as “important” or “insignificant.”

Think about all the 12-step programs. What is the first step? –admit you have a problem. There’s a very good reason why that’s the first step, because admitting you have a problem is (in the case of quitting a destructive habit) a good way to start prioritizing.

Starting something new

The idea for this blog entry came to me while I was beating myself up over not having enough discipline to write on a regular basis. I know myself pretty well and have found that I am more persistent than a telemarketer when it comes to finishing things that are important to me. However, if I consider something less important, it may only be a passing hobby that I quickly grow bored with. So, I had to ask myself, “How important is this blog?”

Developing an answer to that question is what will keep me going. Simply expending the effort to formulate the question and to try to answer it demonstrates some level of importance. After all, if it didn’t matter at all, why would I bother?

Figuring out just how important a new endeavor is to you can be a difficult proposition. It’s a new endeavor, after all. To overcome this obstacle, you must ask yourself what you want from the new endeavor. More money? Personal acheivement? Professional recognition? Sometimes it helps to make a list; actually write it down. Once you have a short list, perhaps you can rank your goals or reorganize them by importance. Taking this step alone will push you toward following through, especially if you put your list in a place where you’ll see it every day and constantly be reminded why you’re doing what you’re doing.

But there’s more you can do. Make a copy of your list and add other things that are important to you. Now rank these new items along with the other items. Does this seem like a lot of work? Ok, then do it in your head like I did. The important thing is to figure out whether you’ll have to sacrifice anything that you rank as “more important” in order to accomplish things that you rank as “less important.” If you do, then perhaps you should reconsider taking on this new task. Or perhaps, like with me, it will prove to be only a passing fancy. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, because you might have some fun. Who knows, you might even re-prioritize it.

The whole point is to know your priorities. Don’t make this “list making” more difficult than that, Melvin Udall.

Giving something up

If you think that this is accomplished in exactly the same way, then you’re right. My dad smoked for over 50 years. He drank for a good number of those years. A few years ago, he quit smoking (cold turkey) as a New Year’s resolution. A year later, he quit drinking completely. Unless you believe in the magical properties of New Year’s resolutions, you’ll recognize that something greater was in play here. In the Eighties, my dad had been in alcohol treatment, lost his family to divorce, lost his job. None of those things were important enough to keep him from his destructive behavior.

I believe that the reason he was able to suddenly–and seemingly easily–give up those things that he’d thrown away everything else for, was because he finally realized that other things were more important. He re-evaluated his priorities. Much of the credit goes to my step-mother, but most of it goes to my father. Why would I say that, even after being one of the “things” that he was so willing to give up? Because the fact is that it isn’t easy to re-assess your priorities and admit that you’ve been wrong. It isn’t easy to give up a crutch that you’ve used for 50 years. It isn’t easy, but my dad has proven that it is possible.

So, you want to give something up? Then get something more important. Do you want to quit smoking? Then admit that life and health matter to you. Or at least admit that the money you throw away on cigarettes matters to you?

Although I’ve brought up my dad, I could just as easily have used myself as an example. I used to drink quite a lot. But, now I have my family: my wife, son, and another on the way. It seems partying and drinking not only aren’t as important anymore, they are no longer on my list of priorities at all.

So, again, what’s important to you?